THE GIFT OF AUTISM

Many parents, when their child was diagnosed with autism, say their whole world fell apart, or they were devastated like it was a tragedy. Some parents even feel that they and/or their child with autism are being punished. Whilst so much focus is on curing and fixing people with Autism, that we can loose sight of and forget to see the beauty and many gifts they have.

Here are just a few:

People with Autism are so wonderfully honest, they normally say exactly what they think and feel. If they like you they genuinely like you, and if they don´t like you, you will know about it for sure.

They are so wonderfully innocent even in adult hood

They do not play mind games or manipulate people to get what they want

They are very clear about what they do want and what they do not want

They do not wear masks, but they are proudly and authentically themselves in a world where nearly everyone is trying to be something or somebody else.

They are oblivious to peoples status in a refreshing way, they do not get in awe of for example because someone is lawyer or Doctor and show them more respect, no they are in awe only if they like you and can connect with you.

Despite many books and professional opinion, they do deeply love and care in a way that is so pure, many times they are just not able to show it on the outside.

Right now, just take a moment to think about the positives and gifts the person with Autism you know, may have. And then take the time to do the same for yourself. This is not about arrogance or ego, this is simply about acknowledging and appreciating yourselves and those with Autism.

We cannot control others and how they behave, but we do have the POWER TO CONTROL AND CHOOSE OUR OWN THOUGHTS. Hopefully this will help you to FOCUS ON THE GIFTS of Autism and Autistic people rather than a seeing a disease or just their challenges. None of us are perfect, but we all deep down want to be loved and accepted just as we are, and so do Autistic people.

Our world is like an endless sea

In which I am perfectly me

Little do you really know

We are put here to help you grow

AUTISM AND SELF CARE FOR PARENTS AND CARERS

Parents often live in constant fear about what will happen to their Autistic Child when they die, I was exactly the same, whilst over the many years I had studied and read so many books about autism and attended so many courses and trained with so many autism specialists and professionals, nearly all the focus was on treating the autism. There was very little focus on self-care for carers and parents or ongoing support and advice to assist us to deal with the many fears and challenges we face daily as parents or carers of children/adults with autism or other special needs or disabities.

Parent and careers often feel alone, unsupported, isolated, overwhelmed and just exhausted, those who have given up careers and dreams to be a full time carer are particularly vunerable.

Personally and thankfully, I realized if I did not start taking better care of myself, I could become very ill.

I often hear people say my kids come first, in the past I would say the same, but I want to leave you with a new saying.

WE ALL COME FIRST AND LOVING AND CARING FOR ME IS THE HIGHEST THING I CAN DO FOR MY LOVED ONE´S

It finally dawned on me the importance of taking care of me and that:

LOVING MYSELF WAS LOVING MY CHILD
TO LOVE AND CARE FOR MYSELF IS NOT SELFISH
I HAVE A RIGHT TO SAY NO
I HAVE A RIGHT TO SAY THIS IS TOO MUCH I CANNOT DO ANYMORE
IT IS OK TO SAY I NEED TIME OUT OR TIME OFF

Does My Autistic Child Love Me? Can Autistic People Love?

Here are some common beliefs people have about autistic people:
a) They do not look at me or respond to my affection and hugs that means they do not love me.
b) They do not know I Love them because they do not look at me when I say it.
c) They do not love me because they do not tell me they love me.
d) They do not love me because they do not hug me or show any physical affection and in fact pull away from physical contact with me.

Love can be deeply expressed in the heart without a touch or even a look.

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“Please Understand, I Have My Own Dreams and What Makes Me Happy Is Not Always The Same As What Makes You Happy”

As I have said before, there is such a strong focus on fixing and curing Autism, or trying to make autistic people fit in or be more like neurotypical people that people forget they are also children and people just like everyone else and they are also entitled to be happy, respected, and to have their OWNS DREAMS and find and fulfill THEIR purpose.  In fact I have encountered many people especially professionals who seem to believe that autistic do not have an imagination and could not possibly have dreams and wishes of their own, but this is just not true. 

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